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Mother of 2, Child of God in Atlanta "They always ask me if I make it am I going to forget about them, but the question is, if I don't make it will they forget about me?" My spin : RealTalk When u are up everyone wants to hang on, but look for the ones that let you lean on when you are down. Remember...don't just look for me when I am up, support me when I'm down. ♥ In prosperity, your friends know you, in adversity, you know your friends. I asked God for strength, I got adversity. I asked God for wisdom, I was made a fool of. I asked for patience, I had a difficult relationship. I looked back, He gave me what I asked for. Adversity showed me I was stronger than I thought; being a fool opened my eyes to discernment making me wise; the difficult relationship showed me that patience is earned not given. Blessings come in many forms, not all of them recognizable.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Enough Already!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!
I don't know about you but some days I look around and I say "When do you say ENOUGH ALREADY????" I mean really, we see cheating senators, governors, golfers, bus drivers, cabbies and just plain old everyday joes...the first thing some of the BBW (Bitter Bewildered Women) I know say is "That couldn't be me...I couldn't be on a string like that....I wish my man would cheat on me I would...." Then I look at them and straighten the spine on my five foot two frame and say "You would what?"

They often continue with the neck-snapping-tongue-clicking tirades of "put his stuff out" "take half" and "change my number", forgetting who they are talking to. Forgetting I am the same chic doing night time ride-bys with them to see "if there is a car in the drive-way" (there was) cause he wasn't answering the phone. On the way over she ranted of leaving, cutting up clothes he left at her house, breaking his favorite cologne and even cheating herself. Yet her composure cracked and the facade faded when seeing an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Those same sisters that throw rocks live in glass houses themselves. It's easy to tell someone else to leave, but harder to follow the same advice.

When it is someone else, there are rants of "what you wouldn't do" ; those same rants are replaced by inconsolable sobs and babblings of "how could he...why would he". They sever the invisible umbilical cord to the one they consider their "lifeblood" only to surgically reconnect it before the wound can even scab over. The scar tissue from the wound never allows them to completely heal as they sever and reconnect so often they become immune to pain.

That is a terrible way to live. But I confess, I too have been there. I too have been the chief of surgery of my own case. Really, you know when he is cheating and you don't need ride-alongs, pictures, text messages or emails to prove it. You know when he is just not moved by you anymore. You know when the sway of your hips just don't do it for him. You know when the late night texts aren't all ___________ "his boy; his mom; his sister" or whomever he inserts in the blank to keep you just close enough that you won't leave but far enough that you won't discover the truth. Hopefully it won't take a golf club, a tree and a late night 911 call for you to say "Enough". Maybe you won't wait for him to disappear for a week only to reappear confessing undying love for someone other than you before you say "Enough".

The sad thing is, the only one that can say Enough is you. Now I am not talking about being insecure and thinking that every hushed call is a secret rendezvous in the making. Not at all, but just remember that we create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love. It's up to you to say ENOUGH ALREADY!

This has been another Newy perspective.

1 comment:

Mizrepresent said...

I love your perspective. You speak the truth of a woman who has been through it and come out of it, and from one woman to another i appreciate your honesty. Keep it up!