Anika was just different...Her blog was a hodgepodge of everything...I met her on her blog before I ever met her in person...She was funny yet reflective, quiet, and determined. I didn't know she was sick. I would follow her blog faithfully. She was one of those prolific writers that would tell a story in a few entries. In April of 2009, she wrote :
i never finish a story and now the blog is littered with the tombstones of tales who died prematurely because i psyched myself out of finishing them because i wanted the endings to be perfect or didn't know how to continue the telling. if you've been around from the beginning, you know the pattern. i'm good for one or two entries, then nothing. i know alot of it is because i'm putting so much pressure on myself. again, it's me trying to perform instead of me just writing. then there are the readers who tell me almost immediately after i start a story "shit, i don't know why i'm even reading this cuz you're not gonna finish it. LOL" they're right.
Her last post in August of 2009, was Nikki telling one of those stories you thought she would come back and finish...she never would. See on August 30, Nikki passed away. She was 38. I forgot her blog was on my blogroll (the one that I keep internally) and I stumbled across it. I choked back tears because for a minute, I forgot she was gone. Now I am upset at all the stories unfinished, I want to yell, "But Nikki how does it end?!?!?" Then I look at the top... This is how it ends... It's Indigo...the trail of her thoughts and she ends the title with "I FONDLE MY IMAGINATION UNTIL EXPLOSION, THE REMNANTS FOREVER STAINING YOUR MEMORY"
Yes, Nikki, you are correct, the remnants forever stain my memory. RIP, Nikki, till we meet again.
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