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Mother of 2, Child of God in Atlanta "They always ask me if I make it am I going to forget about them, but the question is, if I don't make it will they forget about me?" My spin : RealTalk When u are up everyone wants to hang on, but look for the ones that let you lean on when you are down. Remember...don't just look for me when I am up, support me when I'm down. ♥ In prosperity, your friends know you, in adversity, you know your friends. I asked God for strength, I got adversity. I asked God for wisdom, I was made a fool of. I asked for patience, I had a difficult relationship. I looked back, He gave me what I asked for. Adversity showed me I was stronger than I thought; being a fool opened my eyes to discernment making me wise; the difficult relationship showed me that patience is earned not given. Blessings come in many forms, not all of them recognizable.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Indigo

I was living in Atlanta in 2009.  I had seen her at different poetry events around town.


Anika was just different...Her blog was a hodgepodge of everything...I met her on her blog before I ever met her in person...She was funny yet reflective, quiet, and determined.   I didn't know she was sick.  I would follow her blog faithfully.  She was one of those prolific writers that would tell a story in a few entries.  In April of 2009, she wrote :
i never finish a story and now the blog is littered with the tombstones of tales who died prematurely because i psyched myself out of finishing them because i wanted the endings to be perfect or didn't know how to continue the telling. if you've been around from the beginning, you know the pattern. i'm good for one or two entries, then nothing. i know alot of it is because i'm putting so much pressure on myself. again, it's me trying to perform instead of me just writing. then there are the readers who tell me almost immediately after i start a story "shit, i don't know why i'm even reading this cuz you're not gonna finish it. LOL" they're right.

Her last post in August of 2009, was Nikki telling one of those stories you thought she would come back and finish...she never would.  See on August 30, Nikki passed away.  She was 38.  I forgot her blog was on my blogroll (the one that I keep internally) and I stumbled across it.  I choked back tears because for a minute, I forgot she was gone.  Now I am upset at all the stories unfinished, I want to yell,  "But Nikki how does it end?!?!?"   Then I look at the top... This is how it ends... It's Indigo...the trail of her thoughts and she ends the title with "I FONDLE MY IMAGINATION UNTIL EXPLOSION, THE REMNANTS FOREVER STAINING YOUR MEMORY"  

Yes, Nikki,  you are correct, the remnants forever stain my memory.  RIP, Nikki, till we meet again. 


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