Unplugged

I realize that constant communication is hindering my healing.  So I have deleted the following :

• Facebook ~ the constant updates from others, the reminders of his infidelity, the connection with distant relatives who keep asking "how are you (regarding my mom) is just too much.
• My primary cell that I have had for over 8 years...I send all the calls to vm and have an auto-reply turned on for texts.  Even those who have the privilege of having my "other" cell number are getting auto replies if any.
• Emails...only business emails and the gmail that I have given to a couple of my fellow bloggers.  The rest of them, chucking deuces at them for now.

So while I am unplugged, what am I doing?  Writing a stageplay.  I am pouring my all into this play.  I will give you more info as I find a location, casting is complete and rehearsals have begun.  Blogger is my little secret world the "real life" folks know nothing about .  You all are my refuge right now.

*Update I am going to put it on at the 14th Street Playhouse in Atlanta.  I have my cast in my head.  Going to reach out to them and see who is available. and when.  Paying for it out of pocket so I hope I make a dime.  LOL  If not the therapy is still worth it all.*

Dreams

I have been having this dream about packing and/or unpacking stuff for about 3 months.  I didn't know what it meant so I finally went and looked it up.  When I read this, I was in shock:

Packing
To dream that you are packing signifies big changes ahead for you. You are putting past issues to rest or past relationships behind you. Alternatively, it represents the burdens that you carry.

To dream that you are packing, unpacking and packing and unpacking again represents chaos in your life. You are feeling overwhelmed with the various things you are juggling in your life. You are carrying around too many burdens and need to let go. Consider what unfinished business you have to tend to. Try to resolve these issues so they can finally be put to rest.

I do have a bunch of burdens I am carrying...unresolved daddy issues, inability to accept mom's death, unhappiness in my marriage.  When I looked at my post about time, I realize that the situation was not really about time as it was about control.  Right now, I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. Since I don't have an appetite anyway, I have begun to fast so that I can hear from God.  Fasting and praying....

Matthew 6: 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 "This, then, is how you should pray: " 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ' 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 16 "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you

It is amazing that my unofficial fasting began before Lent.  I have no doubt that I will hear from Heaven.  Be Blessed.

I Look To You

I have pretended long enough. I have had on the "strong face", the Christian "she is outta pain" face, and the "I know I will see her again face". Today I give God my real face, after all I was only fooling myself anyway. God, I am lost. I feel like I have been through so much in the last 12 months. As Whitney says "I'm lost without a cause...I've given it my all....After all that I've been through...who on earth can I turn too?" My strength is gone. God, I am looking for the footprints in the sand because right now I can't go on.

Those I thought I could lean on are only here with ulterior motives. I have no one here for me yet I am always the shoulder for everyone else. Where is my shoulder when I need it????? Lord I am crying out to you.

Today I can't keep on the face anymore. I have not really mourned my mom...trying to be strong but I am not strong...I am just a daughter who misses my mother. My levees are broken and all my walls are down. Lord you know just how much I am going through right now. I am broken, my marriage is in shambles and I am tormented.
I have no choice...I look to You. I can't let the enemy put me in despair to the point that I don't want to be here any longer. I can't eat. I can't sleep. When I do sleep, I just want to never wake up. Lord help me. I need you more than ever now.

Leaving before I hate you

Sometimes, we stay with someone hoping the love will allow us to get it together.  I have learned one valuable lesson though : Leave before you hate them.  Seriously.  When you get to the point where you may despise someone that is not a good thing.  I know me and I know that indifference proceeds despising.  That is where I am.

Time is Money

I'm annoyed.  I clearly seem to be the only one in the house that values time. 

When going to a 6pm class, my husband will leave at 5:30.  Which leaves no "just in case time".  You know, just in case traffic is bad, just in case he needs to stop...instead he has "I just may make it by 5 after" syndrome.  Yet he sees nothing wrong with this.

My younger son is the same way and it burns my biscuit.   He will leave the condo at 7:15 to catch the bus that comes at 7:19.  More often than not, he misses the bus.

I was in the Navy for 8 years, to be late is to be ontime therefore be early.  That was my motto.  It still is.  If I have to be somewhere at 9, I leave at 7:45, to account for traffic and whatnot.  This usually gives me time to collect myself before I go in to the meeting or appointment.   If someone tells me an event starts at 7, I want to be there at 7.  I get annoyed when my husband isn't ready.  This happened while we were on vacation.  The family had dinner scheduled for 8 and he was not ready to leave the hotel until 7:45.  It was a half an hour ride.  By 8:05 the family was calling me (they are sticklers for time just like I am) and I was sitting in the passenger seat fuming.


I am trying to break out of this.  Trying not to be so easily annoyed.  But it's not working.

Today, my son had a doctor's appointment at 2:15.  At 2:12 I was getting text messages asking about the address for the GPS.  grrrrrr  Are you for real?!?!?!?!?  At 2:33 I was getting a phone call asking about the suite number.  You're kidding right?!?!?!?!?!?!?  I am trying not to be annoyed but I can't stand tardiness.   Am I being unreasonable?

What do you mean "No Free Speech"??????

Is it really online piracy?  Well there is legislation out there that wants to limit information you can get from places like Google and Wikipedia. 

Wikipedia proudly proclaims:

Imagine a World
Without Free Knowledge

For over a decade, we have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Right now, the U.S. Congress is considering legislation that could fatally damage the free and open Internet. For 24 hours, to raise awareness, we are blacking out Wikipedia. Learn more.



Wikipedia was built by the people for the people by collecting information from various sources and putting it in one location.  To me, this bill is trying to regulate what should not be regulated : The freedom of speech.  There are also those in Congress who want to tax internet purchases and monitor any and everything written.  That includes us as Bloggers.  Think about it, most of us blog about things we have seen or read somewhere else.  We give commentary on current events, news articles, celebrity gossip and more.  With this new pending legislation, it equates to censorship.  I mean really, how can you tell me if I talk about something that I have read elsewhere like on CNN etc, that it equates to piracy.  That is ludicrous.  How do these bills protect intellectual property?  Well let's look at what IP is :

Intellectual property (IP) refers to creations of the mind: inventions, literary and artistic works, and symbols, names, images, and designs used in commerce.
IP is divided into two categories:  Industrial property, which includes inventions (patents), trademarks, industrial designs, and geographic indications of source; and Copyright, which includes literary and artistic works such as novels, poems and plays, films, musical works, artistic works such as drawings, paintings, photographs and sculptures, and architectural designs.  Rights related to copyright include those of performing artists in their performances, producers of phonograms in their recordings, and those of broadcasters in their radio and television programs.

So how does a collection of facts and historical items equate to intellectual property?  If the entry is talking about Edgar Allen Poe and it cites his works and gives credit to the source which are books etc, how is that different from any other encyclopedia with the exception that it is online?  Let's be real here, this is really about money.  At the end of the day, it is about charging for the regurgitation of information.  That is like telling me I can't quote someone when I am talking.  You can't regulate me talking so just how are you going to regulate someone typing?!?!?!? 

I have a Dream

Happy MLK Day, Bloggers!

Everything that has been accomplished started with a dream.  Think about it...

• The Wright brothers, dreamed of flying, their dream changed travel as we know it.  Where it used to take weeks to get somewhere by boat, it now takes hours by flight.
• Henry Ford dreamed of a faster way to get around than horse and buggy, cars and motorized transportation are now a part of our everyday lives. 

Martin Luther King had a dream, too.  While on the surface, it may seem as if we have achieved his dream, we really haven't.  We still don't have total equality.  Men and women are still treated different in the workplace.  There is still disparity in pay whether by gender, race or sexual orientation.  Yes, we do have a black president, but there are still those who won't judge him on the content of his character because they can't get pass the color of his skin.   Instead of focusing on what he has accomplished, they focus on what is still messed up.  Truth be told, it is stuff that was raggedy when he took office but those who want to show him in a negative light won't acknowledge that part.  There are still those that have a voice and a vote in congress that would rather see the country go down in flames than support an idea put on the table by Barack Obama.  Yes, we have come a long way since Martin had a dream, but we still have a very long way to go. 

I will leave you with one of my most requested spoken word pieces :

Color of Skin

GIPSEE 

_{Copyright © 2004}

You put on your fancy suits and ties,

And think that makes you different in their eyes?

Doesn’t matter that you speak eloquently

Doesn’t matter how many degrees

Or how you try to appease…

You’re living in a fantasy…

But you don’t have to take it from me…

Society doesn’t care what’s within…

They still look at the color of your skin.

Walking around like a corporate clone

Like you belong

Look at every milestone…

What about the chances you have blown…

To strengthen your backbone

Who coulda’ known

That you weren’t  so strong?

When your life hit a tailspin

Looking where you have been

You realize it’s still the color of your skin.

You are naïve

If you believe

That as equal you can even be perceived

Your freedom they still bereave

When you long to be free

Are you any different from me?

Look at it through thick and thin

It still the color of your skin.

Working in the fields you don’t do

But you still don’t have a clue

From the cradle to the grave

You are still just a slave.

Instead of whips and chains

They use your desire to obtain

What you think are the same

Rights in the game

But the fact remains, lamebrain,

All they hold for your is disdain

Are you insane?

In spite of your chagrin…

It is still the color of your skin.

20 Questions...the Grown-up edition

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol? Here you have 20 questions for the people who are a little older... Tag me when you finish.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The MORTGAGE...grateful to have a place to lay my head...wish it was already paid for. LOL

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
hmmm Home...hubby cooked. kids were gone...candles everywhere...ahhh I love being married *sigh*


3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Nothing...like at home feet up doing absolutely nuffin :)

4. How many colleges did you attend?
Two

5. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I now live somewhat in the city but my job is not on the transit line or I would be on MARTA like a mugg.

6. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Dagnabbit it's 5 already?!?!?!

7. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
My hubby sure does take care of me (I wasn't feeling well and he had just given me meds and was rubbing my head as I fell asleep)

8. Do you miss being a child?
Sometimes. I miss the carefree me.

9. What errand/chore do you despise?
Cleaning the bathroom...uggg especially behind boys/men.

10. Have you found real love yet?
Yes; His name is Jesus...Have you met Him? Want me to introduce you? ;) Between Jesus and my hubby I am batting 1,000,000 in the Love department.

11. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Nope...but just something we all need to put more thought and care into.

12. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Not the current one. *snicker*

13. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
New career.

14. Are you where you want to be in life?
No...but I think I am fast approaching it. ;)

15. What about you do you think has changed the most?
My beliefs and drive. I am driven but I realize time is short and I can't take life for granted.

16. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
No, but I love my friends from that time. I would say my Navy years were the best!

17. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
Metro Center, Riverside park, Iverson Mall

18. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Ummm in some respects yes, I was really into school...but after work was done...I was all for fun and was kind of hardheaded. LOL The hardheaded me could not be my kids friend...Think Eddie Haskell from leave it to beaver LOL

19. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
My kids and relationship with God. Taught me to be more selfless instead of selfish.

20. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?
All the time..lol

12 things in 2012

So I was thinking, I really haven't introduced myself to you properly. So I am writing this post called 12 things...because they are 12 things about me.


12. I was born in Athens, Greece and have dual citizenship.

11. I spent 8 years in the Navy

10. I am the middle child and I have some tell-tale middle child tendencies and quirkiness

9. I am more comfortable in my skin at 42 than I have EVER been. I think it comes from realizing just how short and precious life really is.

8. I am an introverted extrovert. What does that mean? I prefer solitude over crowds. While I can blend and mix in any environment, I don't like to feel like I'm "On" all the time. Being extroverted is a chore to me. That is why acting is a perfect hobby. :)

7. I have lived on 5 continents. (North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa)

6. I was a state officer for 2 years in Phi Beta Lambda and ran for National one year. This is the college chapter of FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America.)

5. I read daily and have the Amazon Kindle app on my phone. I keep anywhere from 5 - 10 active books on it.

4. I am an IT geek. I have both an IT degree and a business degree.

3. I have a photographic memory.

2. I love logic games and play grid detective and Sudoku everyday.

1. I worked in IT forensics for 5 years and spoke at a national convention for Litigation Analysts.

Dreams and Visions

Hey blogland!

I was sitting here thinking about my dreams. Actually, to be honest it started with me thinking about my vision board. Last year I went to a "Vision Board" party.
First, a Vision Board is made up of pictures, words or symbols cut out of a magazine to symbolize what you want to achieve that year.


Let me tell you about some of my "Visions"

1) I had a small simple string of words "How I came to terms with my mother." This was done in January 2011...long before we knew my mom was sick and certainly before we knew she was terminal. I had some unresolved "mommy" issues. I always thought my mom was hard on me and just didn't "get me" and was "unsupportive" of my acting dreams. Well I was able to talk to her in depth during her last few months and found that not only did she support me, she was my biggest fan. Telling anyone who would listen about me. It just goes to show that perception is not always reality. I spent all those years thinking my mom didn't really like me and the reality of it was she loved me so much she was hard on me when she knew I could do better.


2) There was a picture of a car surrounded by people with "Just Married" on the back and there was an engagement ring somewhere on the board. This was strange because at the time, I was single. But this was part of my vision that last year I would meet my husband. I know you are probably thinking I just wanted this to come true and so I got married. Not true at all. In fact, I am one of those "I would rather never be married than married and divorced" folks. I have been asked before (at least 4 times) it just never felt right until now. What is so weird is I did my vision board in January and did EXACTLY what you are not supposed to do...I rolled it up and put it out of sight and out of mind. The whole purpose is so you can visualize things you want to achieve. I reconnected with the love of my life from my 20s. It's not like we ever lost touch, we just reconnected romantically. We remained friends after dating for 3 years. Last year we realized we were better together and we got married on Sept. 23rd.

3) There was a director's chair. I'm still striving on the acting front but when my mom was sick I put that on hold. After my mom passed, I threw myself back into work and acting. I was a stage manager for a play in December and have been writing a bit more. I eventually want to write and direct thus the director's chair. I have some exciting things that I am working on but until they come to fruition I have to sit on them.

4) There were pictures of family all over my board...oddly I didn't include my mom. I didn't realize it until I pulled my board out for review. There was also a picture of a stopwatch and the words "Time for what's important" As a family we spent ALOT of time together in 2011. We reprioritized our lives to take care of mom and spent time making lasting memories. This was something that had been missing. Through my mom's illness, we grew closer as a family.

5) There was a picture of some steps carpeted with money. I had no idea I was going to get married and move. The house I had built and called home for the last 9 years is now investment rental property. My financial house seems to be even more clear now. It's all about being debt free while maintaining a decent lifestyle. It's about having money to take care of our needs, some of our wants and having a decent savings account.


I was reading a quote I saw somewhere "A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement. "

See it was a vision, just a mere dream and a Japanese proverb says "Vision without action is a daydream. Action with without vision is a nightmare." Unknowningly, I plotted the course for 2011 with my "Vision Board". So 2012, I am going to sit down and do the same. I am going to think of what I want to accomplish.

One thing I can say is that other than those that attended the "Vision Board" party (8 folks total and none involved in my day-to-day life) no one knew about my vision board. Why? You can't share your dreams with everyone. Some folks are dream killers and sometimes a dream can only survive if you carefully nurture it alone, watering it and lovingly pruning the branches. Dream killers are those who tell you why it won't work and how you can't accomplish it, often because they have no drive to achieve dreams of their own.

What everyone needs, regardless of his/her job or the kind of work he/she is doing, is a vision of what his place is and may be. As for me, I need an objective and a purpose. I need a feeling and a belief that I have some worthwhile thing to do. What this is no one can tell me or you. It must be your own creation. Its success will be measured by the nature of your vision, what you have done to equip yourself, and how well you have performed along the line of its development. Don't allow anyone to be your measuring stick, for you and you alone know whether you have failed or succeeded.

This has been another Newy perspective.

Happy New Year!!!!

I have been so swamped that I have neglected my blog. :( I had a post I started in early December regarding my vision board I did last January. I will finish it and post it soon. In the meantime, how are you?

Let's see...catch up with Newy.

First Thanksgiving without my mom. It was difficult but we made new memories and talked about her.

Christmas just didn't feel like Christmas this year, but we started new traditions. This year we went to Chicago. It was AMAZING. I really enjoyed the magnificent mile and seeing family and friends.

I brought the New Year in praying and praising God. I was in church and can't think of anywhere I would rather be than there. Life is good. I thank God for a job I love, for family and friends that are supportive, fun-loving and free spirited.


Big Shouts to my friend Chantell Christopher who was Amber on House of Payne last Friday.


Happy New Year to you all! I will do better this year regarding blogging.

ATTENTION ATL Cinderella's Crunk Christmas coming December 17!!!!!

So you know it is that time of year. Newy has a production coming up. Working with Actress turn director Chantell D. Christopher from Tyler Perry's hit stage play Madea Goes to Jail (Vanessa) once again on this hysterical spin of Cinderella. Buy your tickets TODAY!!!! Cinderella's Crunk Christmas will make you laugh, cry, cheer and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas.


It's year two and we have even more surprises:

This is a great show if you seen it last year you want to see it again this year we have added more dancing, and more characters. I have a hard time directing from laughing. I want to be in the show :)

Chantell Christopher Director

Three shows! One day only!!!!

It is Christmas and Cinderella is not looking forward to it. She is tired of being harassed by her Step Sisters and Mother,'n' the hood is coming out. Then we have the Fairy Godmother who wears a housecoat because she does not feel like putting on that big dress, 'n' then we have BeBe kids keeping things going. The King is a Pimp 'n' the Duke wants to be the Prince.


December 17 (Saturday)

3PM $10 in Advance $15 at Door

5PM $10 in Advance $15 at Door

8PM $15 in Advance $20 at Door

GA TECH STUDENT CENTER THEATRE

(DOWNSTAIRS)

350 Ferst Street

Atlanta, GA 30332

Directions: 85/75 N, Exit 249D Spring St, 2nd light LEFT W Peachtree, next light LEFT on North, RIGHT at 4th light Luckie St , RIGHT next light Mean St , RIGHT next light Ferst Dr building on Left (you will see 355 that where you park)


Box Office: 678-637-8338


Group tickets buy 10 get ONE FREE!!!!

Thanks and Giving

Good morning, Blog Family,

We are about to kick off my favorite time of year: the holiday season. I have so many reasons why I love this season, and here are just a few.

The excitement of Christmas that showed in my children's eyes when they were younger. I have always LOVED Christmas and tried to instill the love of the season in them. Long before I got to know God on a one on one basis, I knew the Christmas story. While I didn't understand the significance of God giving of Himself to the world, I did understand that I was giving something to people that I really cared about and loved. When I was a child, it may have been an art project that I spent hours on before lovingly wrapping it for my mom. Or saving to get my sister a doll or some lip gloss. I just wanted to give to them out of love.

In all the giving, I learned to be thankful. Thankful for the little things. Thankful that my mom remembered that I wanted those Chic jeans. Thankful that I had food to eat. Growing up overseas in impoverished countries during my elementary school years, I saw people hungry and without the basics like food and shelter. My mom would cook and we would have people over to laugh and share our gratefulness for God's Grace and Mercy.

This year is bittersweet for me, I still want to get into the holiday spirit. I still want to be thankful, but it's hard to be thankful while in grief. My mom went home to be with the Lord October 28th. Thanksgiving was a day that I would hear "hurry up and chop those bell peppers." or "Cut those sweet potatoes for the candy yams" or "MzNewy, you are always so slow shredding that cheese." Mom was a drill sargeant leading the troops in the kitchen for Thanksgiving. I am thankful that my mom is out of pain. I am grateful for the time I had with her, but this year, I thought I can't do the whole dinner thing. This year, I planned to sit quietly and reflect of Thanksgivings gone by missing the matriarch of our family. I think mom wouldn't want that, so I am going to do what she always did: I am going to get up and give of myself in the kitchen, thankful for all of the things she taught me, grateful for the good memories. Afterall, it's about Thanks and Giving.


This has been another Newy perspective.

Second time around....

I was over at Sunshine's and she was talking about missing him....I had a "missing him" moment. Back when I was younger we were 23 and 26 respectively when we dated. Our relationship was a roller coaster for the 2 years we were together. So we broke up...on bad terms. The terms were so bad, we didn't speak for a year. Then, he was on my mind so much I reached out to him, mainly because I needed closure. I needed to know what went wrong because I loved him, but love wasn't enough. We had lunch, talked things out and became friends. No we didn't agree on everything but we understood each other's position enough to put the bad blood behind us. We remained friends for 12 years. Then one day, during one of our visits, we sat and talked. Afterall we were no longer young adults with raging hormones but real grown-ups with some experience under our belts. We talked about why we never tried again, wondered why we let it go so easily. We began to date again, getting to know the grown-ups we had become on a more romantic level. See in those 12 years we had dated others, but realized we never really let go of each other. It was the best decision we ever made. I love my husband. He is my rock and my best friend. Sometimes you have to let go and let time, space and God heal those wounds. In our case, it was right person, wrong time the first time around.

He sees my flaws and loves me in spite of them. He can see past my flaws, encourages me when I can't seem to encourage myself, is my biggest cheerleader.

I love my life ya'll. I can't imagine my life without him. I appreciate him so much because regardless our situation or circumstances, we make the best of it. He balances me. Where I am high-strung, he is calm. Where I am shallow, he is humble. Where I am weak, he makes me strong.

We all have problems, it's how you react to the problems that determines whether you are a keeper.

Happiness often sneaks in through a window you didn’t know you left open. It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. You don't love a man because he is remarkable, but he is remarkable because you love him.

This has been another Newy perspective

Back to Life...Back to Reality

Good morning Bloggers!

I am back in the Theater again. Yep...except on this run, I am the stage manager. I love the theater. I love throwing myself into the arts and breathing life into characters.

Even more than that, I love writing, directing and helping others bring life to characters. The movie I filmed last year, Unspoken Words, debuted this past Friday. I was a credited extra and did some of my original poetry in this film. It stars Greg Alan Williams (Melonie's Dad on "The Game"), Robin Givens, and Tommy Ford. Our director is Henderson Maddox (23) This is a small film production company but I can almost guarantee he is going to be up there with the Coppola's etc.

I still love my day job so I can't see giving it up for acting/directing/writing. My day job feeds my intellectual side and my passion for the arts feeds my creative side. I have the best of both worlds.

I am still a newlywed and I am struggling moving from me to "we". When you are used to being the yes and no final decision maker, it is hard to give up power compromise and consult with someone else. Ladies, there is a such this as being too independent. That can cause MAJOR friction if you won't aren't willing to try to change. I thank God for sending me a patient and loving husband who is willing to work at it.

I promise pinky swear to try to blog more now.

Newy

What I have learned

I was over on Miz's site and saw this post "What I have Learned" It made me say...Let me do my own list so here it goes:

What I have learned -

- Follow your dreams. They are often part of God's blueprint for you.

- It's ok to let go of one you love, when it is meant to be no matter how long it takes, you can get back together.

- Humble is not the same as being a pushover.

- It is hard going from "me" to "we" but it is so worth it.

- Boys need you to let go if they are going to be men.

- Life is 10 % what happens to you and 90% how you react to what happens to you.

- Learn to laugh in spite of your condition and regardless of your situation.

- Be happy with you before you try to couple up. It is supposed to be whole folks coming together to become 1.

- Hurt people hurt people.

- Love your career and it won't seem like work.

What a year this has been

Wow...I can't believe it has been 8 months since I posted. Alot has happened since then.


February -


We celebrated my mom's 65th birthday. We made it a birthday weekend in Memphis and Tunica.


I was in two plays this spring and my son was made part of the youth ensemble of Atlanta

The two movies I filmed last year went post production and I reconnected with the love of my life.

Summer....
Things started changing...My mom was diagnosed with cancer. She started chemo and it seemed like she may have a fighting chance although pancreatic cancer has a low survival rate. After surgery and numerous hospitalizations, we got the devastating news...she was terminal.

After prayer and asking God for guidance, my now husband and I changed our wedding date from September 2012 to September 2011. We wanted her to be there. And she was there. It was a beautiful wedding and reception. Small and intimate with family and close friends in attendance. My older son gave me away. He always loved my hubby. We dated initially from 1996 - 1999 and then remained friends. He was my friend all through the rocky relationship last year.

I am happy with my husband. Sad watching my mother suffer. The pain of watching someone as cancer rocks their body is devastating. There is pain watching my once strong independent mom be reduced to a waif of her old self. The fleshly me is selfish, I want her here. But I know the Lord and I want her suffering to end.

Absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

So what is up with you bloggers?

Yay me!

Good morning Blogland.  After the snow and ice of last week here in Atlanta, I spent the weekend getting back on the audition track.  I got a callback for a second audition on January 29.  Well, I take supporting roles and minor stuff because...are you ready for this?  I am afraid of success.

   I used to think I was afraid of failing, but I am afraid of exceeding beyond measure. To be honest, I don't know if I want to give up a 9-5 for a dream.  I am too old to still be "looking for myself".   *sigh*  I am excited about the opportunities but afraid to commit to anything that will change the way I "do business as usual". I know, I often say "take a chance"  "step out on faith" but in reality right now I'm thinking "Don't be no fool."  I am listening for God to tell me which way to go and I swear to Bob He has not said "Girl quit yo' job"  Maybe it's just me but I like little things like food and shelter, so until then I will be your friendly neighborhood extra who may or may not even get credited in the billing but I am having fun doing what I do. 

Make it a great Thursday, Blogland.

Did you know....I had a crush on you?!??!?!

So I was on FB(as usual) and I got a friend request from someone I went to middle/early high school with a gazillion years ago.  We exchanged the usual "What have you been up to/cute kids/what do you do now/where are you living" pleasantries. 

Now there is something you have to understand about MzNewy : I was homely looking in middle and high school...

Umm yeah I was the nerdy studious chic  with the big glasses that sat in the front of the class.  So what tumbled out of his mouth next sent me into a fit of giggles.  He said I had a crush on you back in school.  I couldn't help it this was me at his revelation  ---->  For real....I know what I looked like back then.  I was a late bloomer.   I then asked him if he needed those coke-bottle glasses I used to wear.  But you know, he said some things that he remembered about me from waaaaaaaaaaaay back then that the only way he would have paid that much attention was if he WAS crushing me.   Wow...who knew.  That just goes to show you never know WHOSE type you are, even when you are homely looking.  Here is to 1986,  to a simple place in time when music was music and the shy kid in the back of the class had a crush on the nerd in the front. 

Enough Already!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!

 

I don't know about you but some days I look around and I say "When do you say ENOUGH ALREADY????" I mean really, we see cheating senators, governors, golfers, bus drivers, cabbies and just plain old everyday joes...the first thing some of the BBW (Bitter Bewildered Women) I know say is "That couldn't be me...I couldn't be on a string like that....I wish my man would cheat on me I would...." Then I look at them and straighten the spine on my five foot two frame and say "You would what?"

They often continue with the neck-snapping-tongue-clicking tirades of "put his stuff out" "take half" and "change my number", forgetting who they are talking to. Forgetting I am the same chic doing night time ride-bys with them to see "if there is a car in the drive-way" (there was) cause he wasn't answering the phone. On the way over she ranted of leaving, cutting up clothes he left at her house, breaking his favorite cologne and even cheating herself. Yet her composure cracked and the facade faded when seeing an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Those same sisters that throw rocks live in glass houses themselves. It's easy to tell someone else to leave, but harder to follow the same advice.

When it is someone else, there are rants of "what you wouldn't do" ; those same rants are replaced by inconsolable sobs and babblings of "how could he...why would he". They sever the invisible umbilical cord to the one they consider their "lifeblood" only to surgically reconnect it before the wound can even scab over. The scar tissue from the wound never allows them to completely heal as they sever and reconnect so often they become immune to pain.

That is a terrible way to live. But I confess, I too have been there. I too have been the chief of surgery of my own case. Really, you know when he is cheating and you don't need ride-alongs, pictures, text messages or emails to prove it. You know when he is just not moved by you anymore. You know when the sway of your hips just don't do it for him. You know when the late night texts aren't all ___________ "his boy; his mom; his sister" or whomever he inserts in the blank to keep you just close enough that you won't leave but far enough that you won't discover the truth. Hopefully it won't take a golf club, a tree and a late night 911 call for you to say "Enough". Maybe you won't wait for him to disappear for a week only to reappear confessing undying love for someone other than you before you say "Enough".

The sad thing is, the only one that can say Enough is you. Now I am not talking about being insecure and thinking that every hushed call is a secret rendezvous in the making. Not at all, but just remember that we create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love. It's up to you to say ENOUGH ALREADY!

This has been another Newy perspective.